Choosing a Dating Location By N/A | 17-12-2007 http://www.cupidsreviews.com

Location, location, location -it means everything

So, you've finally decided that you'd like to take an online virtual meeting to the next level and actually meet the man in person. Besides the natural butterflies of anticipation mixing with anxiety, once you've agree to when and where is the rendezvous, the next question becomes what does it mean?

Time of day can be a clue to what may or may not happen on the date. Daytime is almost always casual, unless the person is attached and sneaking around. A lunch date or coffee break, says I'm vaguely interested but I want to bale gracefully if you're not my type. Midday meetings seldom get physical, so it works well for people who want to start slow. Nighttime is more romantic. Early evening dinner sends the message that I'm not sure where this could go, but we'll have a little time before calling it a night, either way. A movie mid-evening, sends the message, you seem nice but I am not sure we have anything to talk about. We'll spend a quality two hours not talking and afterwards at least we'll have the movie to discuss or simply go our separate ways. A late night coffee or dessert, definitely does not spell a long term proposal. Either it goes so well you won't want to say goodnight and you won't or it goes very badly and suddenly someone has to wake up early for a meeting. Either way, unless you don't have a day job, late night hook ups don't leave much time for real conversation to develop, so as a successful dating tactic, it depends the goal. Weekends versus weekdays are a sign that the possibility of wanting to immediately spend more time together has already crossed the boy's mind. Meanwhile, getting squeezed in between work and Pilates you're a convenient distraction at best so far and who knows when he'll pencil you in again.

The "where" clues are more complicated. Joining someone in a public place can serve multiple purposes. Safety is a legitimate concern when meeting a complete stranger. Some people feel more comfortable rejecting someone or making a quick exit (on the sly even) from a crowded area. Some social butterflies want to make an impression, either by showing you off to other people or by showing you how many other people this winged Monarch knows. Choosing to meet at your place or his also doesn't mean just one thing. Obviously it can be a sign that the possibility of things becoming physical fast is there. Other people are shy enough meeting someone new without being surrounded by a crowd of other strangers. Some folks want to meet on their turf and would feel less confident on unknown or even neutral territory. Finally, sometimes it's just easier than trying to find somewhere quiet and intimate to talk where you'll both feel comfortable and there won't be any pressure to free up a table or pay the cheque.

From the examples I given I think it's apparent that a lot of times the message being sent by selecting a location and time to meet could be very unclear. What if you get the wrong idea or send a bad message to someone else simply by choosing a convenient setting for your first date?

In matters of communication, what you don't know can hurt you. It's much easier to be rejected or say "no" to someone else's advances from the safe distance of cyberspace than it is face-to-face in a strange place or in front of your own door. Tell the other person upfront whether you imagine, friendship, romance or merely a short term encounter. If you don't already have any clear idea of what you want to transpire from meeting someone, be open about your lack of sure expectations.

Read the signs of place and time; trust your gut but always know that talking is the best way to know the truth.